feat: unleash maximum chaos with 'IT'S FUCKING DUSTIN'S FAULT' website

- Transform into hilariously offensive Docker-hosted blame portal - Add Apache container with custom 404 blaming Dustin - Implement MySQL database tracking all of Dustin's eternal sins - Create interactive features: live incident feed, apology generator, nuclear option - Add ridiculous animations, sound effects, and CRT-style UI - Include CGI script for extra blame generation - Set up docker-compose with phpMyAdmin for database admin - Maximum crassness with zero restraint - everything is Dustin's fault
2026-02-25 12:00:13 -05:00
parent 70ffc2b62b
commit feaf614dd5
7 changed files with 1333 additions and 106 deletions
--- a/cgi-bin/blame-dustin.cgi
+++ b/cgi-bin/blame-dustin.cgi
@@ -0,0 +1,92 @@
+#!/bin/sh
+
+echo "Content-type: text/html"
+echo ""
+
+cat << EOF
+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html>
+<head>
+<title>Blame Dustin - CGI Edition</title>
+<style>
+body {
+    font-family: 'Courier New', monospace;
+    background: #000;
+    color: #0f0;
+    margin: 40px;
+    text-align: center;
+}
+h1 {
+    color: #f00;
+    text-shadow: 0 0 10px #f00;
+    font-size: 3em;
+}
+pre {
+    color: #ff0;
+    font-size: 1.2em;
+    text-align: left;
+    display: inline-block;
+    background: #111;
+    padding: 20px;
+    border: 2px solid #f00;
+    border-radius: 10px;
+}
+.apology {
+    color: #0ff;
+    font-size: 1.5em;
+    margin: 30px;
+    padding: 20px;
+    border: 1px dashed #0ff;
+    background: rgba(0, 255, 255, 0.1);
+}
+.blame-button {
+    background: #f00;
+    color: #000;
+    border: none;
+    padding: 15px 30px;
+    font-size: 1.2em;
+    font-weight: bold;
+    cursor: pointer;
+    margin: 20px;
+    border-radius: 5px;
+}
+.blame-button:hover {
+    background: #ff0;
+    color: #f00;
+}
+</style>
+</head>
+<body>
+<h1>OFFICIAL DUSTIN BLAMING INTERFACE</h1>
+<pre>
+$(/usr/bin/fortune)
+</pre>
+
+<p><b>Dustin's fault level:</b> $(echo $((RANDOM % 100 + 1)) )%</p>
+
+<p><b>Figlet says:</b></p>
+<pre>
+$(echo "DUSTIN'S FAULT" | /usr/bin/figlet)
+</pre>
+
+<div class="apology">
+$(echo "I'm sorry. It's my fault. I fucked up." | /usr/bin/lolcat)
+</div>
+
+<h2>BLAME LEVEL: MAXIMUM</h2>
+<p>Current blame allocation: <span style="color:#f00;font-size:2em;">100%</span> Dustin's Fault</p>
+
+<form action="/cgi-bin/blame-dustin.cgi" method="post">
+    <input type="hidden" name="blame" value="more">
+    <button type="submit" class="blame-button">BLAME DUSTIN EVEN HARDER</button>
+</form>
+
+<p><a href="/" style="color:#0ff;">← Back to the main blame portal</a></p>
+
+<hr>
+<small>Server time: $(date)<br>
+This page has been viewed $(echo $RANDOM) times by people blaming Dustin.<br>
+Total apologies generated: $(echo $((RANDOM * 1000)))</small>
+</body>
+</html>
+EOF