From b26f166b413b6d59389efafd541d7c226da71f07 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: hobokenchicken <dustin@dustin.coffee>
Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2026 15:29:08 -0500
Subject: [PATCH] Initialized Repo

---
 index.html | 726 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 726 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 index.html
diff --git a/index.html b/index.html
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..963604c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/index.html
@@ -0,0 +1,726 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html lang="en">
+<head>
+  <meta charset="UTF-8">
+  <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
+  <title>IT'S DUSTIN'S FAULT — Incident Monitoring System</title>
+  <link rel="preconnect" href="https://fonts.googleapis.com">
+  <link rel="preconnect" href="https://fonts.gstatic.com" crossorigin>
+  <link href="https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=IBM+Plex+Mono:wght@400;600;700&family=Share+Tech+Mono&display=swap" rel="stylesheet">
+  <style>
+    :root {
+      --bg-dark: #0a0a0a;
+      --bg-panel: #0d1117;
+      --terminal-green: #00ff41;
+      --terminal-green-dim: #00aa2a;
+      --terminal-amber: #ffb000;
+      --terminal-red: #ff3333;
+      --terminal-blue: #00d4ff;
+      --text-dim: #4a5568;
+      --border-color: #1a1f26;
+    }
+
+    * {
+      margin: 0;
+      padding: 0;
+      box-sizing: border-box;
+    }
+
+    body {
+      font-family: 'IBM Plex Mono', monospace;
+      background: var(--bg-dark);
+      color: var(--terminal-green);
+      min-height: 100vh;
+      overflow-x: hidden;
+    }
+
+    /* CRT Scanline Effect */
+    body::before {
+      content: '';
+      position: fixed;
+      top: 0;
+      left: 0;
+      width: 100%;
+      height: 100%;
+      background: repeating-linear-gradient(
+        0deg,
+        rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.15),
+        rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.15) 1px,
+        transparent 1px,
+        transparent 2px
+      );
+      pointer-events: none;
+      z-index: 1000;
+    }
+
+    /* CRT Flicker */
+    body::after {
+      content: '';
+      position: fixed;
+      top: 0;
+      left: 0;
+      width: 100%;
+      height: 100%;
+      background: rgba(0, 255, 65, 0.02);
+      pointer-events: none;
+      z-index: 999;
+      animation: flicker 0.15s infinite;
+    }
+
+    @keyframes flicker {
+      0%, 100% { opacity: 1; }
+      50% { opacity: 0.98; }
+    }
+
+    .container {
+      max-width: 1200px;
+      margin: 0 auto;
+      padding: 20px;
+    }
+
+    /* Header */
+    .header {
+      text-align: center;
+      padding: 30px 0;
+      border-bottom: 2px solid var(--terminal-green-dim);
+      margin-bottom: 30px;
+      position: relative;
+    }
+
+    .header-ascii {
+      font-family: 'Share Tech Mono', monospace;
+      font-size: 12px;
+      line-height: 1.2;
+      color: var(--terminal-green);
+      text-shadow: 0 0 10px var(--terminal-green);
+      white-space: pre;
+    }
+
+    .header-subtitle {
+      font-size: 14px;
+      color: var(--terminal-green-dim);
+      margin-top: 15px;
+      letter-spacing: 4px;
+    }
+
+    /* Stats Bar */
+    .stats-bar {
+      display: grid;
+      grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fit, minmax(200px, 1fr));
+      gap: 20px;
+      margin-bottom: 30px;
+    }
+
+    .stat-card {
+      background: var(--bg-panel);
+      border: 1px solid var(--border-color);
+      padding: 20px;
+      text-align: center;
+      position: relative;
+      overflow: hidden;
+    }
+
+    .stat-card::before {
+      content: '';
+      position: absolute;
+      top: 0;
+      left: 0;
+      width: 100%;
+      height: 3px;
+      background: var(--terminal-green);
+    }
+
+    .stat-card.critical::before {
+      background: var(--terminal-red);
+    }
+
+    .stat-card.warning::before {
+      background: var(--terminal-amber);
+    }
+
+    .stat-label {
+      font-size: 11px;
+      color: var(--text-dim);
+      text-transform: uppercase;
+      letter-spacing: 2px;
+      margin-bottom: 10px;
+    }
+
+    .stat-value {
+      font-size: 32px;
+      font-weight: 700;
+      text-shadow: 0 0 20px var(--terminal-green);
+    }
+
+    .stat-card.critical .stat-value {
+      color: var(--terminal-red);
+      text-shadow: 0 0 20px var(--terminal-red);
+    }
+
+    .stat-card.warning .stat-value {
+      color: var(--terminal-amber);
+      text-shadow: 0 0 20px var(--terminal-amber);
+    }
+
+    /* Main Grid */
+    .main-grid {
+      display: grid;
+      grid-template-columns: 1fr 350px;
+      gap: 30px;
+    }
+
+    @media (max-width: 900px) {
+      .main-grid {
+        grid-template-columns: 1fr;
+      }
+    }
+
+    /* Incident Log */
+    .incident-log {
+      background: var(--bg-panel);
+      border: 1px solid var(--border-color);
+      height: 500px;
+      display: flex;
+      flex-direction: column;
+    }
+
+    .log-header {
+      padding: 15px 20px;
+      border-bottom: 1px solid var(--border-color);
+      display: flex;
+      justify-content: space-between;
+      align-items: center;
+    }
+
+    .log-title {
+      font-size: 14px;
+      font-weight: 600;
+      display: flex;
+      align-items: center;
+      gap: 10px;
+    }
+
+    .live-indicator {
+      width: 8px;
+      height: 8px;
+      background: var(--terminal-red);
+      border-radius: 50%;
+      animation: pulse 1s infinite;
+    }
+
+    @keyframes pulse {
+      0%, 100% { opacity: 1; box-shadow: 0 0 5px var(--terminal-red); }
+      50% { opacity: 0.5; box-shadow: 0 0 10px var(--terminal-red); }
+    }
+
+    .log-content {
+      flex: 1;
+      overflow-y: auto;
+      padding: 15px;
+      font-size: 12px;
+    }
+
+    .log-content::-webkit-scrollbar {
+      width: 6px;
+    }
+
+    .log-content::-webkit-scrollbar-track {
+      background: var(--bg-dark);
+    }
+
+    .log-content::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb {
+      background: var(--terminal-green-dim);
+    }
+
+    .incident {
+      padding: 10px;
+      margin-bottom: 8px;
+      background: rgba(0, 255, 65, 0.03);
+      border-left: 3px solid var(--terminal-green-dim);
+      animation: slideIn 0.3s ease-out;
+      line-height: 1.5;
+    }
+
+    .incident.critical {
+      border-left-color: var(--terminal-red);
+      background: rgba(255, 51, 51, 0.05);
+    }
+
+    .incident.warning {
+      border-left-color: var(--terminal-amber);
+      background: rgba(255, 176, 0, 0.05);
+    }
+
+    @keyframes slideIn {
+      from {
+        opacity: 0;
+        transform: translateX(-20px);
+      }
+      to {
+        opacity: 1;
+        transform: translateX(0);
+      }
+    }
+
+    .incident-id {
+      color: var(--terminal-blue);
+      font-weight: 600;
+    }
+
+    .incident-time {
+      color: var(--text-dim);
+      margin-left: 10px;
+    }
+
+    .incident-severity {
+      margin-left: 10px;
+      font-weight: 600;
+    }
+
+    .incident-severity.critical {
+      color: var(--terminal-red);
+    }
+
+    .incident-severity.warning {
+      color: var(--terminal-amber);
+    }
+
+    .incident-severity.info {
+      color: var(--terminal-blue);
+    }
+
+    .incident-desc {
+      margin-top: 5px;
+      color: #ccc;
+    }
+
+    .incident-root-cause {
+      margin-top: 5px;
+      color: var(--terminal-red);
+      font-weight: 600;
+    }
+
+    /* Report Form */
+    .report-panel {
+      background: var(--bg-panel);
+      border: 1px solid var(--border-color);
+    }
+
+    .report-header {
+      padding: 15px 20px;
+      border-bottom: 1px solid var(--border-color);
+      font-size: 14px;
+      font-weight: 600;
+    }
+
+    .report-form {
+      padding: 20px;
+    }
+
+    .form-group {
+      margin-bottom: 20px;
+    }
+
+    .form-label {
+      display: block;
+      font-size: 11px;
+      color: var(--text-dim);
+      text-transform: uppercase;
+      letter-spacing: 1px;
+      margin-bottom: 8px;
+    }
+
+    .form-input {
+      width: 100%;
+      background: var(--bg-dark);
+      border: 1px solid var(--terminal-green-dim);
+      color: var(--terminal-green);
+      padding: 12px 15px;
+      font-family: 'IBM Plex Mono', monospace;
+      font-size: 13px;
+      outline: none;
+      transition: border-color 0.2s, box-shadow 0.2s;
+    }
+
+    .form-input:focus {
+      border-color: var(--terminal-green);
+      box-shadow: 0 0 10px rgba(0, 255, 65, 0.2);
+    }
+
+    .form-input::placeholder {
+      color: var(--text-dim);
+    }
+
+    .submit-btn {
+      width: 100%;
+      background: var(--terminal-green);
+      color: var(--bg-dark);
+      border: none;
+      padding: 14px 20px;
+      font-family: 'IBM Plex Mono', monospace;
+      font-size: 13px;
+      font-weight: 700;
+      text-transform: uppercase;
+      letter-spacing: 2px;
+      cursor: pointer;
+      transition: all 0.2s;
+    }
+
+    .submit-btn:hover {
+      background: #00ff6a;
+      box-shadow: 0 0 20px var(--terminal-green);
+    }
+
+    .submit-btn:active {
+      transform: scale(0.98);
+    }
+
+    /* Report History */
+    .report-history {
+      padding: 20px;
+      border-top: 1px solid var(--border-color);
+      max-height: 200px;
+      overflow-y: auto;
+    }
+
+    .report-history-title {
+      font-size: 11px;
+      color: var(--text-dim);
+      text-transform: uppercase;
+      letter-spacing: 1px;
+      margin-bottom: 15px;
+    }
+
+    .user-report {
+      padding: 10px;
+      margin-bottom: 8px;
+      background: rgba(0, 212, 255, 0.05);
+      border-left: 3px solid var(--terminal-blue);
+      font-size: 11px;
+    }
+
+    .user-report-id {
+      color: var(--terminal-blue);
+      font-weight: 600;
+    }
+
+    /* Cursor blink */
+    .cursor {
+      display: inline-block;
+      width: 10px;
+      height: 18px;
+      background: var(--terminal-green);
+      animation: blink 1s step-end infinite;
+      vertical-align: middle;
+      margin-left: 5px;
+    }
+
+    @keyframes blink {
+      0%, 100% { opacity: 1; }
+      50% { opacity: 0; }
+    }
+
+    /* Footer */
+    .footer {
+      text-align: center;
+      padding: 30px 0;
+      color: var(--text-dim);
+      font-size: 11px;
+    }
+
+    /* Dustin Counter Animation */
+    @keyframes countUp {
+      from { transform: scale(1.5); color: var(--terminal-red); }
+      to { transform: scale(1); color: var(--terminal-green); }
+    }
+
+    .count-pulse {
+      animation: countUp 0.3s ease-out;
+    }
+  </style>
+</head>
+<body>
+  <div class="container">
+    <!-- Header -->
+    <header class="header">
+      <pre class="header-ascii">
+███████╗██╗   ██╗███████╗    ███████╗ ██████╗ ██████╗ ████████╗███████╗██╗   ██╗
+██╔════╝╚██╗ ██╔╝██╔════╝    ██╔════╝██╔═══██╗██╔══██╗╚══██╔══╝██╔════╝██║   ██║
+█████╗   ╚████╔╝ ███████╗    █████╗  ██║   ██║██████╔╝   ██║   █████╗  ██║   ██║
+██╔══╝    ╚██╔╝  ╚════██║    ██╔══╝  ██║   ██║██╔══██╗   ██║   ██╔══╝  ╚██╗ ██╔╝
+███████╗   ██║   ███████║    ███████╗╚██████╔╝██║  ██║   ██║   ███████╗ ╚████╔╝ 
+╚══════╝   ╚═╝   ╚══════╝    ╚══════╝ ╚═════╝ ╚═╝  ╚═╝   ╚═╝   ╚══════╝  ╚═══╝ 
+      </pre>
+      <div class="header-subtitle">
+        INCIDENT MONITORING SYSTEM v2.0.26 <span class="cursor"></span>
+      </div>
+    </header>
+
+    <!-- Stats -->
+    <div class="stats-bar">
+      <div class="stat-card">
+        <div class="stat-label">Total Incidents</div>
+        <div class="stat-value" id="total-incidents">0</div>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stat-card critical">
+        <div class="stat-label">Critical Events</div>
+        <div class="stat-value" id="critical-incidents">0</div>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stat-card warning">
+        <div class="stat-label">Dustin's Faults</div>
+        <div class="stat-value" id="dustin-faults">0</div>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stat-card">
+        <div class="stat-label">System Uptime</div>
+        <div class="stat-value" id="uptime">99.9%</div>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+
+    <!-- Main Grid -->
+    <div class="main-grid">
+      <!-- Incident Log -->
+      <div class="incident-log">
+        <div class="log-header">
+          <div class="log-title">
+            <span class="live-indicator"></span>
+            LIVE INCIDENT FEED
+          </div>
+          <div style="font-size: 11px; color: var(--text-dim);">AUTO-SCROLL: ON</div>
+        </div>
+        <div class="log-content" id="incident-log">
+          <!-- Incidents will be inserted here -->
+        </div>
+      </div>
+
+      <!-- Report Panel -->
+      <div class="report-panel">
+        <div class="report-header">
+          ⚡ FILE NEW INCIDENT REPORT
+        </div>
+        <form class="report-form" id="report-form">
+          <div class="form-group">
+            <label class="form-label">Incident Description</label>
+            <input 
+              type="text" 
+              class="form-input" 
+              id="incident-input" 
+              placeholder="e.g., Coffee machine exploded..."
+              autocomplete="off"
+            >
+          </div>
+          <div class="form-group">
+            <label class="form-label">Severity Level</label>
+            <select class="form-input" id="severity-select">
+              <option value="critical">🔴 CRITICAL</option>
+              <option value="warning">🟡 WARNING</option>
+              <option value="info" selected>🔵 INFO</option>
+            </select>
+          </div>
+          <button type="submit" class="submit-btn">Submit Incident</button>
+        </form>
+
+        <div class="report-history">
+          <div class="report-history-title">Recent User Reports</div>
+          <div id="user-reports">
+            <!-- User reports will appear here -->
+          </div>
+        </div>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+
+    <footer class="footer">
+      <p>© 2026 Dustin Fault Monitoring Division — All systems operating abnormally</p>
+    </footer>
+  </div>
+
+  <script>
+    // State
+    let incidentCount = 0;
+    let criticalCount = 0;
+    let dustinFaultCount = 0;
+    let userReportCount = 0;
+
+    // Predefined incidents
+    const incidentTemplates = [
+      { desc: "DNS resolution failed", severity: "critical", cause: "Dustin accidentally flushed the wrong cache" },
+      { desc: "Production database unreachable", severity: "critical", cause: "Dustin ran DROP TABLE on the wrong terminal" },
+      { desc: "API response time > 5000ms", severity: "warning", cause: "Dustin's debug logs filled the disk" },
+      { desc: "SSL certificate expired", severity: "critical", cause: "Dustin clicked 'Don't remind me again'" },
+      { desc: "CDN cache invalidated", severity: "warning", cause: "Dustin hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete on the load balancer" },
+      { desc: "Backup job failed", severity: "warning", cause: "Dustin unplugged the wrong server for his phone charger" },
+      { desc: "Memory usage at 98%", severity: "critical", cause: "Dustin left 47 Chrome tabs open on the production server" },
+      { desc: "Firewall rule changed", severity: "warning", cause: "Dustin thought the test environment was 'just like production'" },
+      { desc: "Queue depth exceeded threshold", severity: "warning", cause: "Dustin's infinite loop made a comeback" },
+      { desc: "Load balancer health check failed", severity: "critical", cause: "Dustin rebooted the wrong node... again" },
+      { desc: "Email notifications not sending", severity: "info", cause: "Dustin marked all system emails as spam" },
+      { desc: "Logs rotation failed", severity: "info", cause: "Dustin said 'rm -rf /logs/*' in the wrong shell" },
+      { desc: "CI/CD pipeline stuck", severity: "warning", cause: "Dustin's merge conflict is now 3 days old" },
+      { desc: "Container orchestration degraded", severity: "critical", cause: "Dustin deployed without -production flag" },
+      { desc: "SSH key expired", severity: "info", cause: "Dustin used his 'test' key on prod" },
+      { desc: "Disk space critical", severity: "critical", cause: "Dustin compiled everything with debug symbols" },
+      { desc: "OAuth token leak detected", severity: "critical", cause: "Dustin posted credentials in #general" },
+      { desc: "Monitoring alerts silenced", severity: "warning", cause: "Dustin 'fixed' the alert spam by muting everything" },
+      { desc: "Kubernetes pod eviction", severity: "critical", cause: "Dustin exceeded the node's memory limit with his side project" },
+      { desc: "Redis connection pool exhausted", severity: "warning", cause: "Dustin forgot to close connections again" },
+    ];
+
+    const userExcuses = [
+      "The dog ate the config file",
+      "I was just following the documentation",
+      "It worked on my machine",
+      "I didn't know that was production",
+      "That's not a bug, it's a feature",
+      "I was just testing",
+      "The previous guy left it that way",
+      "I thought the backup was working",
+      "Nobody told me not to",
+      "It was a security audit... technically",
+      "I was trying to help",
+      "The test suite told me to",
+      "I was on a coffee break",
+      "Git merge conflicts are hard",
+      "The previous admin set it up wrong",
+    ];
+
+    // Generate random incident ID
+    function generateId() {
+      const chars = 'ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ0123456789';
+      let id = 'INC-';
+      for (let i = 0; i < 6; i++) {
+        id += chars.charAt(Math.floor(Math.random() * chars.length));
+      }
+      return id;
+    }
+
+    // Get current timestamp
+    function getTimestamp() {
+      const now = new Date();
+      return now.toISOString().split('T')[1].split('.')[0] + 'Z';
+    }
+
+    // Add incident to log
+    function addIncident(desc, severity, cause, isUserReport = false) {
+      const log = document.getElementById('incident-log');
+      const id = isUserReport ? `USR-${String(++userReportCount).padStart(4, '0')}` : generateId();
+      const time = getTimestamp();
+
+      incidentCount++;
+      if (severity === 'critical') criticalCount++;
+      dustinFaultCount++;
+
+      const incident = document.createElement('div');
+      incident.className = `incident ${severity}`;
+      incident.innerHTML = `
+        <span class="incident-id">${id}</span>
+        <span class="incident-time">${time}</span>
+        <span class="incident-severity ${severity}">[${severity.toUpperCase()}]</span>
+        <div class="incident-desc">${desc}</div>
+        <div class="incident-root-cause">⚠ ROOT CAUSE: ${cause}</div>
+      `;
+
+      log.insertBefore(incident, log.firstChild);
+
+      // Keep only last 50 incidents
+      while (log.children.length > 50) {
+        log.removeChild(log.lastChild);
+      }
+
+      // Auto-scroll to top
+      log.scrollTop = 0;
+
+      // Update stats
+      updateStats();
+    }
+
+    // Update stats display
+    function updateStats() {
+      const totalEl = document.getElementById('total-incidents');
+      const criticalEl = document.getElementById('critical-incidents');
+      const dustinEl = document.getElementById('dustin-faults');
+
+      totalEl.textContent = incidentCount;
+      criticalEl.textContent = criticalCount;
+      dustinEl.textContent = dustinFaultCount;
+
+      // Pulse animation on dustin counter
+      dustinEl.classList.remove('count-pulse');
+      void dustinEl.offsetWidth; // Trigger reflow
+      dustinEl.classList.add('count-pulse');
+    }
+
+    // Add user report to history
+    function addUserReport(desc, id) {
+      const history = document.getElementById('user-reports');
+      const report = document.createElement('div');
+      report.className = 'user-report';
+      report.innerHTML = `
+        <span class="user-report-id">${id}</span>: ${desc}
+      `;
+      history.insertBefore(report, history.firstChild);
+
+      // Keep only last 5
+      while (history.children.length > 5) {
+        history.removeChild(history.lastChild);
+      }
+    }
+
+    // Generate random auto-incident
+    function generateRandomIncident() {
+      const template = incidentTemplates[Math.floor(Math.random() * incidentTemplates.length)];
+      addIncident(template.desc, template.severity, template.cause);
+    }
+
+    // Handle form submission
+    document.getElementById('report-form').addEventListener('submit', function(e) {
+      e.preventDefault();
+      
+      const input = document.getElementById('incident-input');
+      const severity = document.getElementById('severity-select').value;
+      const desc = input.value.trim();
+
+      if (!desc) {
+        input.focus();
+        return;
+      }
+
+      const id = `USR-${String(userReportCount + 1).padStart(4, '0')}`;
+      const excuse = userExcuses[Math.floor(Math.random() * userExcuses.length)];
+      
+      addIncident(desc, severity, `Dustin: ${excuse}`, true);
+      addUserReport(desc, id);
+
+      input.value = '';
+      input.focus();
+    });
+
+    // Initialize with some incidents
+    function init() {
+      // Add a few initial incidents
+      addIncident("System initialization complete", "info", "Dustin pressed the power button");
+      setTimeout(() => addIncident("Monitoring services started", "info", "Dustin's script finally finished"), 500);
+      setTimeout(() => addIncident("Baseline established", "info", "Dustin calibrated the baseline incorrectly"), 1000);
+    }
+
+    // Start generating random incidents
+    init();
+
+    // Random interval between 2-5 seconds
+    function scheduleNext() {
+      const delay = 2000 + Math.random() * 3000;
+      setTimeout(() => {
+        generateRandomIncident();
+        scheduleNext();
+      }, delay);
+    }
+
+    scheduleNext();
+
+    // Uptime counter (fake)
+    let uptimeDecimals = 9;
+    setInterval(() => {
+      uptimeDecimals = (uptimeDecimals - 0.0001 + 100) % 100;
+      document.getElementById('uptime').textContent = `99.${String(uptimeDecimals).padStart(2, '0')}%`;
+    }, 1000);
+  </script>
+</body>
+</html>
